Lingering Guilt
by Polaricey123
Summary: Following the events of Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon, a particular father figure climbs the village hill to sort out his thoughts. His self-loathing is cut short when an old friend joins him and encourages him to find a way to forgive himself. Is such a thing possible when you have already decided you're not worth forgiving? Player and Partner characters left vague on purpose :3
1. A Talk at Dusk

Lingering Guilt

 _ **SPOILER WARNING!**_

 _ **FOR THE ENDING/EPILOGUE OF**_

 _ **POKEMON SUPER MYSTERY DUNGEON**_

 _ **SPOILER WARNING!**_

Chapter 1 - A Talk at Dusk

It didn't take long for things to return to normal in Serene Village. Regardless of what phenomenon occurred, the village would bounce back to normality within a matter of days. This became especially evident after the school-haunting incident. Shortly after Farfetch'd had been dragged away from the school, the haunting just…stopped. Everyone was rattled for a fair bit of time, but other than that everything went back to the way it was. Almost as if the haunting had never happened in the first place.

Nuzleaf shook his head, making his leaf sway from side to side. He took a seat atop an oh-so-familiar hill next to the giant tree and heaved a heavy sigh as he stared out at the village. The sun had set hours ago and the first stars of the night were beginning to peek through the quickly-darkening sky. Lights were flickering on in the village houses as Pokemon went about preparing dinner for their families. In the distance, he could see the silhouette of his own house illuminated by light pouring from Carracosta's place. He narrowed his eyes slightly in contemplation.

The village's resilience was a troubling concept for him. He was happy that everything was okay after Dark Matter's plans (that he was a major contributor to, he added bitterly) were foiled, but it also unsettled him to see practically no changes as a result of the near-catastrophe. The planet almost collided into the sun and almost all Pokemon had been turned into stone, and yet Serene Village showed no signs that such a terrible event had taken place at all. He couldn't help but be unnerved by that.

That's not to say that the residents hadn't been affected by the event. He'd observed them long enough to see the trauma caused from them being turned into stone. Some Pokemon looked exhausted, no doubt tormented by horrible nightmares of the Voidlands. Others had a permanent tremble in their walk cycle, and others developed a case of shifty-eyes. Most Pokemon were afflicted in ways that he couldn't tell, but he had no doubt that everyone came out of the experience with scars of some sort.

' _And I reckon it's my duty to try an' heal these scars_ ,' he thought to himself. ' _I helped cause 'em, after all…_ '

Despite these afflictions, the residents talked and interacted with each other like everything was normal. Not five days ago, everything was on the verge of being brought to a terrible end, but now Pokemon stop on the street to chat about the weather.

He couldn't help but chuckle. Though it was slightly disturbing how quickly the village recovered from horrible events, part of him found it endearing as well. There was something beautifully charming about Serene Village's blissful simplicity.

So, now what?

On one hand, he could return to the life he had where he lived among the village residents. On the other hand, that life had been a lie – a setup for luring his target to Revelation Mountain and shattering the barrier preventing him from obtaining the Luminous Water. How could he return to a life that he originally had for sinister intentions?

What other choice did he have? If he left, there was no guarantee anyone else would welcome him with open arms. Having a major hand in bringing about the end of the world wouldn't be a good ice-breaker when moving somewhere new, he imagined.

' _No. I don't wanna live nowhere else_ ,' he decided with a firm nod. ' _I used this place for plottin' evil things, and spat in the villagers' faces by tarnishin' Revelation Mountain – a sacred place passed down from generation to generation._ '

If he was to make amends anywhere, this was the place to do it. How he was going to do so for nearly destroying the entire world was utterly beyond him, but he had to try.

However, there was another matter that made his heart drop into the pit of his stomach. And he nearly leapt out of his skin as a guttural laugh sounded from the base of the hill.

"Well, if it ain't my dear neighbor who's new hobby is constantly disappearing!"

He shifted into an awkward half-crouch, half-kneel position as he turned and faced Carracosta. "Wh-what in tarnation!? Where'd _you_ come from?"

"Don't give me that! You'd have heard me if you weren't so busy daydreaming."

Nuzleaf's lips pulled into a thin frown as the giant blue turtle Pokemon made his way up the hill and settled next to him. He'd have lied if he said he didn't want the company, and there were certainly worse candidates to have discovered his presence.

"What're you doing up here anyway?" Carracosta huffed. "Stargazing?"

The other shook his head. "Just…thinkin'."

"About your kid?"

He flinched before rubbing the back of his neck and looking down out of guilt. "Well…they're among the things I'm thinkin' about, yeah."

"They were here the night before last." A smile stretched across the other's face, though his eyes portrayed a hint of sadness. "Had a little friend with them who reminded me of my kid."

He flinched again. Rumors of their vanishing had reached his ears, though he'd been skeptical of their validity. After the whole world-ending event (that he caused) he should've realized anything was possible. "I'm sorry."

Carracosta gave him a sideways glance. "Hm?"

"For your child. M'sorry." He looked sadly out at the village and gave a half smile. "I reckon you must think I'm pretty pathetic. You lost yours and I'm too much of a coward to face mine again."

"Naw, I don't think you're pathetic. I understand why you're afraid to talk to them."

Nuzleaf narrowed his eyes. A feeling of dread welled up in his chest as he recalled a moment where he'd been controlled by Dark Matter. "Well…there's more to it than you think."

"They think the world of you, Nuzleaf. Regardless of how you think of yourself, they still view you as a father."

At this, his eyes filled with tears. "Well, they shouldn't. I'm a horrible Pokemon."

The other grit his teeth. "Don't say that."

"It's true. I don't got the right to exist in this world." He drew his legs up close to his chest before burying his face in them.

"Now see here," he started as he glared at his weeping neighbor. "You are _not_ horrible, and you have every right to live in this world. Just because you were being controlled doesn't me-"

"I WANTED TO KILL MY KID!"

They stared at each other for a long moment. Nuzleaf's face was slightly splotched from crying, but he glared at the other through the tears. Carracosta was taken aback by his outburst and bewildered at what he'd heard.

"Don't try tellin' me I'm not horrible. After they shattered the barrier on Revelation Mountain, all I wanted was for them to just disappear. When they came back, I felt annoyed and wanted to kill 'em so they never interfered with me again. I-I don't know if that's because Dark Matter was controllin' me or if those were my actual thoughts and…and…" he took a deep breath, "When we were at the Prehistoric Ruins, I'd planned on turning them to stone in a special room that would send them straight to the very bottom of the Voidlands. After they…" He shook his head violently before burying it in his knees again. "Who am I kidding? I was sending them to the pits of _Hell_. After they escaped, I got this real dark urge to do somethin' horrible to them the next time I saw them."

Carracosta could only listen patiently as the other rambled, frowning the entire time. He pondered the possibility of Dark Matter influencing Nuzleaf so deeply to the point where their thoughts and feelings were one and the same. Or rather, to the point where Nuzleaf _thought_ their feelings were one and the same.

"How could I face the child again after that?"

How indeed? To want to hurt a child that you cared and loved for...a preposterous notion, under any other circumstance. If this was a different Pokemon, he'd accuse them of never having cared for their child at all. However, he'd seen the two interact. Controlled by Dark Matter or no, Nuzleaf shared an undeniable paternal connection with his kid. And that kind of connection made his question all the more troubling.

Regardless of where the feeling originated from, Nuzleaf had felt the urge to kill. Not knock out, but _kill_. To end someone's life for good. This was very different from the planet crashing into the sun - that event would've wiped out everything, yes, but such a thing was only possible through Dark Matter's existence. The urge to kill, however, dated back to before Pokemon created homes and villages, to a time where they hunted each other and lived in caves. Such urges were normal for Pokemon like Mightyena and Mandibuzz, but not for most others. In desiring to kill the human-turned-Pokemon out of frustration, Dark Matter (perhaps unintentionally) gave a Pokemon that's normally not a vicious hunter the instincts of one. Nuzleafs were known as tricksters at worst, not hunters. The urge to kill must've been a new and terribly frightening experience for him.

So the question was, how could _he_ help? How could Carracosta help someone he cared about with a problem that was utterly beyond him? He couldn't even imagine wanting to cause harm to his own child, let alone _kill_ them.

Carracosta shook his head. In truth, there really wasn't anything he _could_ do. Erasing or fixing something that dark was simply beyond him, so he gave up trying to find an answer to his question. He decided instead to focus on what he _did_ understand.

"I don't think that urge came from you."

Nuzleaf turned his head to look at his neighbor and sniffled softly.

"You were being controlled by Dark Matter, right? That means its intentions were yours. Its thoughts and desires were yours. And when your kid kept escaping its clutches and posing future problems, Dark Matter was frustrated. _It_ wanted to kill your kid, not you. You may have felt the same thing it felt while you were possessed, but that horrible feeling didn't originate from you."

"How do you know?"

"Because the Pokemon I'm looking at isn't capable of murder," he replied softly. "If those thoughts of wanting to hurt, or kill, your kid were truly yours, I don't think you'd be this shaken from thinking back on the feeling now."

Nuzleaf frowned as he looked out over the village, the bottom half of his face rested in his arms atop his legs. Carracosta's words made sense, but he still had his doubts.

"Do you still want to kill your kid?"

His head turned back to him so fast his leaf could've split a tree. "'Course not! What kinda question is that!?"

"An enlightening one," replied the other with a smirk. "You had those feelings when Dark Matter controlled you, and now that it isn't you don't have them. See where I'm going with this?"

He sighed before turning his attention back to the village. "Bein' controlled by Dark Matter doesn't change the fact that I felt it. It wanted me to do such horrible things to them..." He looked down at his hands in horror, as if they were covered in blood already. "Don't make up for the terrible things I done, either."

"Nuzleaf, before you work on earning the forgiveness of others, you need to find a way to forgive yourself. Those terrible thoughts weren't yours, and those terrible actions weren't yours, but you still want to hold yourself accountable for them because…well, _somebody_ needs to pay for what happened, right? Is that the line of thinking you're on?"

He didn't reply, which was answer enough for the other.

"You need to remember that you're a victim in this too," he continued. "What you did was terrible, yes, but it wasn't _you_ who did it. Nobody here would fault you for what happened when you had no control over it." He followed the other's gaze out to the village. It was getting late and lights were slowly flickering off one by one. It amazed the two of them how beautiful the village remained when bathed in the pale moonlight.

He understood what Carracosta was saying, but it still didn't sit right with him. He may not have _wanted_ to do Dark Matter's bidding, but the fact remained that he _did_ it. Who cares what he _wanted_ out of the exchange? What he _did_ was another story entirely. It's easy for someone to brush his actions off as merely, ' _It's okay, you were possessed._ ' Every Pokemon being tormented by their memories of the Voidlands would have to find solace in the fact that the being who made them experience that was possessed. They'd have to smile and act friendly towards him because all the bad stuff he did wasn't his fault. ' _Oh, the Voidlands were a dreadful place where I had to fight to survive every second, and every time I turned around I was afraid I'd be swallowed up by the Void Shadows. But the Pokemon who sent me there was possessed? I guess it's not his fault then._ '

To him, that was NOT okay.

Still, trying to make up for such a grave misdeed was a pretty tall order, and he didn't quite know where to start. He hurt so many Pokemon and did so many terrible things. The easiest way to approach the situation was start where Dark Matter's actions started. First terrible thing Dark Matter made him do - turn Pokemon to stone. Making a list of all the Pokemon he'd turned to stone and approaching each one of them would take a very long time, so he set that task aside for later. Second thing Dark Matter made him do - betray the child.

That topic is where his heart sank. It hadn't occurred to him while he was fighting them before, but after they'd been reduced to nothing - after they lost all their memories, their fighting experience and strength - they were just a kid. For someone who'd fought Dark Matter before, they were so young. While he waited for them to inevitably turn on him, the kid was busy making happy memories with their little friend. He saw them as a temporary ally to remain wary of, while they saw him as a new father to trust and care about. They were so happy and lively when they came home every night and told him stories about school and the village and their adventures.

And the day that he betrayed them...

"You said I need to find a way to forgive myself, right?" Nuzleaf asked softly, his voice distant. "I reckon in order to do that…I need to make things right between me and the child." A gentle smile pulled at his lips as he realized he should be more specific. " _My_ child."

Carracosta chuckled softly as he watched him get up. "That's the spirit. What made you think to start there?"

He shrugged as he dusted himself off. "Tryin' to make peace with everything I done is a monumental task. I can't right forgive myself for tryin' to destroy the world just yet, not until I do some good to make up for it. But in my actions, I…I hurt my child, too." He looked down at the ground out of shame. "You shoulda seen the look on their face when I turned on them. I was laughin' evilly on the outside, but inside I was writhin'. I _never_ wanna see them make that face at me again. I…I couldn't take it…" He looked back up at Carracosta, who was frowning back at him. "They looked at me like I was a _monster_."

The other shook his head. "Let's not start up the water works again. You weren't the monster."

Nuzleaf nodded slowly. "I-I know. Just hard not to think about, y'know? It'll take time." He bit his bottom lip a bit as he wrung his hands together, trying to divert his thoughts from that moment. "Um...th-thanks for the talk, Carracosta."

"Any time, old friend." The older Pokemon grunted softly as he got up from his position, uttering a soft cuss as his back cracked a bit from not moving in a while. "What are you fixing to do now?"

"I reckon I'll run home and prepare for the journey to Lively Town, then get some shut-eye." He took a few steps towards the decline of the hill before stopping short and turning back to his neighbor. "When I get back…holler if you need help with anything. Got it? I won't take kindly to bein' ignored if I find out you needed help with somethin'."

He chuckled again. "I'll be sure to remember that."

As he walked down the hill and towards the path leading into the village, Nuzleaf's smile quickly drooped into an uneasy frown. Their entire discussion replayed in his mind over and over. Reassuring as the other's words were, they did little to completely take his mind off his worries. He had a long road ahead of him to Lively Town in the morning, and that was the least of his worries. He wasn't even sure how he was going to approach some of the town Pokemon after everything that'd happened, let alone what he was going to say to the kid. The last time he'd seen them was when he helped smash the Dark Matter core (albeit probably not as much as what they'd done themselves) within the Tree of Life. How do you even approach someone after something like that? Not to mention he wasn't there for them after their friend had vanished.

He sighed heavily. Tomorrow was going to be a _long_ day.

* * *

 **A/N:** Yay, long story typed and submitted! I recently replayed Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon, and much like Gates To Infinity, as disappointed I was with the gameplay (the lack of level grinding, making some later parts frustratingly difficult), the story was pretty solid. There were some parts that were kinda meh, but I liked it. Decided to type somethin' up in honor of Leaf Papa :3 Lemme know what you think. Might add some chapters to this later, maybe not. Not sure.

To clear up any confusion, this is during the Epilogue after you meet Mew, but before you go to the Purifying Cave.


	2. Setting the Stage

Chapter 2 - Setting the Stage

As the name implied, Lively Town was a busy place. With stores lined up on the streets, the Lapras Liner on the eastern coast, and the Expedition Society's headquarters in the northern plaza, it was no wonder the place was always bustling. However, following the near end of the world, the place was busier than ever. With different Pokémon pouring in every day and the shops constantly busy, the town should've had its name changed to Hectic Town.

Nuzleaf's worries about the town Pokémon were not completely unfounded. His presence turned a few heads and made some Pokémon skitter, but for the most part everybody was too busy rushing from place to place to worry about him. Perhaps he could make quite the living by working part time at some of these businesses if Serene Village ever ran out of work for him, he mused. The store owners certainly looked frantic and exhausted enough to need the help.

Among all the Pokémon he saw, there was one he was keeping a sharp eye out for. The last encounter he'd had with him was unpleasant, and the last thing he wanted was to fight in the middle of town. He certainly had enough Poke to pay for the Pokémon's…services…that he provided during his possession, but something told him the Pokémon would rather settle the matter with his jaws.

He breathed a quiet sigh of relief as he saw him and his lackey in Kangaskhan's Café Connection, though he sped up walking to avoid detection. Perhaps he'd approach him and pay off his debt properly, but not today.

As he approached the Expedition Society Headquarters, he noticed a stack of boxes sat out front. He rose an eyebrow at them and walked over to investigate. Upon further inspection, he found they were boxes of food that a certain Swirlix was ravaging. He briefly recalled this Swirlix from when he and Yveltal went around petrifying Pokémon, and he couldn't help but smile. Seemed like eating was all this particular Pokémon cared about.

' _I reckon the Expedition Society must have a large amount of food in order to have such a glutton as a member. Otherwise they must be constantly in trouble…and I won't be havin' that if my kid is to be livin' here!_ '

He shook his head. Members of the Expedition Society were elite explorers, who were used to delving into the largest and most difficult dungeons in the world. Of _course_ they were careful to keep their provisions well-stocked.

Upon entering the building, he immediately realized…it was empty. Strangely so for elite explorers. Malicious Pokémon could just walk in, no security measures to stop them, and mess around.

"Hm."

Worrying as that was, Nuzleaf made his way to the left hallway. There he saw some rooms, one of which had an orange carpet and two hay piles with small indents in the middle. He smiled warmly at one of them, which looked fairly similar to the one in his home. There were some minor things scattered around indicating that this was definitely the room his kid shared with Carracosta's. Or whoever they were hanging out with now.

However, something still seemed unsecure about his child's bedroom. Wasn't there a door or something they could install? He couldn't help but tap his chin at the prospect of anyone being able to walk into the building and enter his kid's room. Sure, they might lock the front door at night so nobody wandered in while they slept, but during the day? Who knows what kind of terrible things they'd hide in their bedding that they wouldn't notice until they were asleep?

"Hmmm."

He left from there and made his way over to the right hallway, and from there he entered a large room that the sign outside stated was the dining hall.

A large table sat in the middle of the room with a vase and lovely flowers in the middle of it. Crates, barrels, and baskets of food lined three corners of the room, and plates, bowls, a washing basin and an oven sat in the upper right corner. Nobody was in the room with him, which made him tap his chin again. If he was an evildoer, he could easily sabotage the Expedition Society by poisoning the food or messing around with the oven or spraying something harmful on the dishes.

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…."

For a group of elite explorers, they certainly left themselves vulnerable to a variety of misfortunes. How could they overlook these obvious security flaws? To think, they used this place as a secure location to hide the town vendors when everyone else was being turned into stone. How they prev-

"Can I help you?"

*BAM*

Startled by the sudden realization that someone had snuck up behind him, Nuzleaf leapt forward and collided with the oven. He made to grab one of the frying pans for self-defense, but stopped himself and uttered an annoyed groan as he recognized the individual.

"C-consarn it! Warn a fella the next time you ask him that. I almost battered ya!"

Ampharos frowned and tilted his head. "Oh dear…I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

Nuzleaf remained frozen for a few additional seconds before slowly releasing a big sigh and straightening himself up. "Well…reckon I'm sorry, too. I weren't plannin' on intrudin', but I saw some real worryin' things and wanted to see what else there was.

"Worrying things?"

He cleared his throat. "Well yeah, like the lack of security do-hickies to keep intruders out, or the lack of doors on folks' bedrooms, or the fact that someone could just wander into the dinin' room…lots-a dangerous folks out there could hurt you guys in sneaky ways, and…" He paled in realization as his sentence trailed off. The look Ampharos was giving him made him acutely aware of what he was implying. "D-don't get the wrong idea now! I d-don't mean to make it sound like I'm threatenin' ya, or that I'm the d-dangerous Pokemon in question! Although I reckon I _am_ kinda dangerous since I…y'know…"

Nuzleaf suddenly felt very foolish. First he snuck into this Pokemon's home, and after having been confronted, insulted it. He'd been found fairly quickly (though not quickly enough, in his opinion), so surely there was some sort of surveillance feature he hadn't noticed. Of _course_ there was, this was the Expedition Society Headquarters! Surely they'd have security measures not seen by the naked eye. These were elite Pokemon!

Ampharos kept quiet for a while as he watched the other shuffle uncomfortably. Shame took over Nuzleaf and his eyes drifted to the ground.

' _What is this Pokemon trying to get at?_ ' Ampharos thought to himself.' _Does he think our headquarters are unsafe? Why would_ _he_ _be concerned if they were? And why show up now, of all times? Perhaps he wants to see…ah, now that makes sense. They_ _were_ _living with him before they lived here, were they not? And after everything that happened…yes, of course. But then why the concern over our building? Surely he doesn't think they're too weak to handle intruders, not after they saved the world._ ' He shook his head. ' _Well, that hardly matters. His presence here could be the answer I was looking for, and if my hunch about why he's here is correct, this should play out rather nicely._ '

"W-well, anyway, I was wonderin' if perhaps-"

"They aren't here," Ampharos cut him off bluntly. "They left an hour ago with Mawile."

Nuzleaf flinched. He should've figured they were busy. Lot of strife in the world, no thanks to him.

"However, I have something that you might be able to help with. Something that'll make them happy."

This caught his attention. There was something he could do for the child that would make them happy? His eyes lit up. "For them, I'll do anything. Name it."

The other nodded. "I need you to play the role of the villain in a staged kidnapping of their friend."

He stared at him with an absolutely blank expression. Of all the things they needed help with, that was perhaps the last thing he expected. Didn't he say this was supposed to make them _happy_?

"They went and saw Xatu a few days ago in hopes of bringing their friend back. Xatu's an old friend of mine, and he contacted me to inform me of a vision he had involving Mew. The child's friend is trapped within Mew, and in order to free them we need to stage the kidnapping."

' _The "child's friend"?_ ' Nuzleaf thought with a frown. ' _He must be referring to Carracosta's kid._ '

"During the staged kidnapping," Ampharos continued, "Mew will be taken to Purifying Cave under the pretenses that they will be sacrificed to completely wipe out Dark Matter. Mew will undergo a magical experience in which they start to fade away, and the child will be tested."

' _I see…the fake kidnapping ain't for malicious reasonin', but a test of faith. If they stop Mew from "disappearin'", they will pass the test and Carracosta's kid will come back._ '

"And if they fail?" He inquired as he tapped his chin in thought.

"They won't. Xatu foretold that they would pass, and they care about Mew. They won't be okay with another friend seemingly disappearing."

Their plan seemed plausible, but there were a number of holes in it. A lot of possible problems could crop up, but Nuzleaf saw no point in trying to discuss them. He had a feeling he'd only get a response of, 'Xatu foresaw otherwise.'

"I normally ain't one to trust strangers," he started uneasily, "especially after bein' controlled by Dark Matter. For all I know, you could be settin' me up for somethin' really terrible…but, then again…" he sighed softly, " _they_ trust you. And I reckon I oughta trust ya, too. And if you say this Xatu feller is seein' things that'll make 'em happy…who am I to doubt ya?"

Ampharos smiled. "I understand your caution. I'm not sure how valuable this might be to you, but you have my word as Chief of the Expedition Society that Xatu will not lead you astray."

"So what is it you need from me? Somethin' about bein' the villain?"

"Yes, we need you and the Beheeyem to act as the perpetrators behind the kidnapping. Mew will get sick, and the child will take them to Serene Village. When they climb up the hill with the big tree, the Beheeyem need to knock out the child and the three of you need to lure Mew to the Purifying Cave."

He frowned and nodded slowly. He'd talked to the Beheeyem not too long ago, and they were awfully remorseful for their actions as well. No doubt hearing there was a possible way to atone would be enough to convince them.

"The child will come for Mew, and when they do you need to explain that you're sacrificing Mew to prevent Dark Matter from ever returning."

A plausible motive. When it came to the return of Dark Matter, the four of them were without question the most opposed to the concept. The plan sounded solid, except…

" **Mr. Nuzleaf…"**

Nuzleaf whimpered and that terrible feeling of dread resurfaced. ' _Why now? Why am I rememberin' that terrible moment_ _now_ _?_ '

" **I reckon I feel bad about trickin' you this whole time. All of this started when you lost your memory."**

"I can't." He slowly inhaled, held it in for a few seconds, and then exhaled. "I…I'm awful sorry, Ampharos, b-but I can't. The child, they…I can't do it again." He started to tremble as the look on their face, the shock giving way to despair and disbelief, wormed its way to the forefront of his mind. "I hurt them. A lot. I m-mean, I hurt a whole lotta Pokemon, but…I hurt _them_ more than I hurt anyone. I m-made a vow that I ain't _ever_ gonna do that again."

Ampharos stared at him quietly for a while before a sincere smile stretched across his face. He'd suspected that Nuzleaf and the Beheeyem were good Pokemon who'd want to make up for their misdeeds in their own ways, but the Pokemon on the verge of tears in front of him was not a villain-turned-ally. He was a repentant father.

No wonder he had so many safety concerns.

"I'm not going to make you take part in our plans if you don't wish to, Nuzleaf."

He looked up and chewed on his bottom lip to keep it from quivering. ' _Why do I keep turnin' into a blubberin' buffoon whenever I think of how I….h-how I….dagnabbit…_ '

"You have a kind heart, and I think it would make them happy to know you care about them. However, I think it's important to weigh your options." Ampharos held his own arms out to the side and lifted one at a slight angle. "On one hand, you _will_ see them get emotionally hurt by a sinister role that you play. That will stir some terrible déjà vu, I'm sure." He lifted his other arm to match the angle. "But on the other, your actions will help bring their friend back. And after everything is said and done, nobody will be hurt and they will be happy again."

Nuzleaf rose an eyebrow at this. "…Again?"

The other's face fell slightly as he nodded. "They've been pretty down ever since their friend disappeared. Adventuring with Mew has helped, but…"

He sighed. ' _Aw shucks, I don't wanna see them mopin' around. Ampharos could easily get someone else to fill this here role, but that ain't what I want. Seein' 'em upset with me again is gonna tear me apart inside, but…this is my chance to do right by them. And they ain't the only one who'll be made happy by this. Ol' Carracosta misses his kid, too._

 _After everything I done did, who the hell am_ _I_ _to turn away from this just 'cause I don't wanna be in any emotional pain?_ '

"I'll do it."

Ampharos beamed. "Thank you, Nuzleaf. Oh, this is splendid! I'll go inform Mawile that we have a villain for the kidnapping. I'll send an agent to Serene Village the day before the child arrives with Mew, so you'll be prepared."

"Just one thing," he stated before the other had the chance to leave. "The _second_ the plan starts showin' signs of failin', I'm gonna drop the façade, hug the kid, and tell 'em I'm sorry." He glared off to the side at one of the baskets of food, as if hoping to cut it down with his vision.

At this, the other chuckled. "Wouldn't expect anything less from a loving father."

' _Father?_ '

He opened his mouth to say something, but Ampharos had left. Flustered, he leaned against a nearby wall and crossed his arms over his chest.

' _True, I keep callin' the kid_ _my_ _kid, but that doesn't make me their father. That's just how I describe 'em outside of usin' their actual name. Still, Carracosta made a similar statement yesterday..._ ' He shook his head. ' _No, that can't be. I ain't earned the right to be called their father. I still got a lotta work to do before I can even start to be called a friend. First thing's first, better get back to the village so I can speak with them Beheeyem 'bout all this._ '

As he started leaving the dining hall and making his way towards the exit, Ampharos's statement kept echoing in his mind.

" **Wouldn't expect anything less from a loving father."**

"… **a** **loving** **father** **."**

He bit the inside of his cheek. Despite his own self-hatred and criticism, he only thought positively about the time the child spent living with him. Sure, he'd been wary of them due to his plans, but looking out for them, giving them advice about life and exploring, making dinner with them and just….being a parent to them.

He missed it.

And if, someday, after he'd atoned for all of his evildoings, they wanted to go back to living the way they used to…well, it'd be a preposterous notion given how they were a member of the Expedition Society. But, still, if they _did_ …

To him, it'd be a mighty fine idea.

* * *

A/N: That's probably gonna be it for Lingering Guilt, mainly because keeping the hero and partner characters vague is going to get much more difficult with future entries I plan on typing. The first chapter was difficult enough when it came to that, but this one I had to deliberately use "they, them, they're" and such because using "the child" when it came to Ampharos didn't sound quite right, and it got annoying after a while.

Ugh, I don't know why but every time I reread this one it just feels weaker than the first chapter x.x Hopefully it doesn't come across that way, I put an equal amount of effort into both.


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